Friday, April 30, 2010

Lipka and Gifts from Heaven

After the sun has let up and the doors have been left open so that the beetles may join in on the evening fun Lipka has shared his gifts from heaven.

I have spent almost the last two hours watching a movie named "Zelary". My daughter brought it home from the library. Lord, I have come to love foreign films with subtitles. It is the second one I have watched this week. In this particular case, I have paused the movie for I know something sinister is about to happen and I wish to be no part of it. At least, not until I get these thoughts out of my head.

It used to be I would say "get these down on paper." For the sake of speed, accuracy and legibility I am preferring the computer to paper most days. Journals carried with me are most preferred for as I find too often I can not hold onto the exact words long enough to record them.

So, Lipka...what are his gifts from heaven and why did I feel the need to stop the movie to share them with you? Really, the movie is about the main character who saves a man's life and ends up married to him. Why focus on Lipka?

Lipka is the poor boy who is beaten by the live in mate of his mother. I can not fathom a mother who would stay with a man who would do such a thing. Lipka receives gifts from heaven that lifts his spirits and helps him through winter. At least, that is what I would like to believe. I paused the movie after he shared blocks of his chocolate aka gifts from heaven and it is only the beginning of winter. The pause is because I do not want to see the ugliness that I believe is about to unfold before me.

We are exposed to so much ugliness daily. I know I will return to the movie but why sour the sweet words that need to be put into press before they leave me? The lady who has married this man out of necessity is becoming to love him. Imagine 1943, the underground, a house with no electricity and a city girl is smack dab in the middle of it falling in love with what the villagers refer to as an old goat.

I do want to know what happens next. But I wanted to share Lipka's gifts from heaven with you first. Such a simple thing, sharing the chocolate. Bittersweet, melts on your tongue and for just a moment your able to escape to a better place. A place with no terror, no empty cupboards and no lack of love.

Remember Lipka as you go about your day. A poor boy with whiplash marks on his back, chocolate stashed in his home made of cedar branches in the middle of the forest in the winter and no family to call his own and yet he shares his chocolate.


Saturday, April 24, 2010

Crosses that We Bear

I know of people that are judged due to their mistakes. I prefer to withhold judgment entirely if at all possible. It is not, in my eyes our job to judge anyone but ourselves. The people walking amongst us bear their own crosses. They live daily with their decisions, mistakes and chosen paths. We do not need to remind them of their mistakes.

Keep in mind that we too have made our own mistakes and if you are young yet and have not had enough life experiences to make these mistakes you also do not have the wisdom to judge others. Remember of course, to keep in mind my original statement that we do not have the right to judge anyone but ourselves in the first place.

If you cross paths with a person that has made so many mistakes that you can not see past them and come to know the person that they are inside and can not accept that person then, it is time to move on. We are a forever evolving work in progress. Seldom do we start out perfect even with the best upbringing and the best of intentions.

This moving on can be done in many ways. Gradually stepping back or altogether physically and or emotionally separating yourself from that person. If this person is a family member it is a more delicate task that must be done with tact unless you plan on never speaking to that person or any of that persons “circle” again.

This brings me back to the title of this post. The crosses we bear. Some are carrying around heavy ones that weigh down on them and when you judge them it only brings them down further. The enlightened way to approach this person would be to pick up the heaviest section of their cross and help them carry the load.

You can do this by being a friend, listening, laughing with them, sharing things with them and rebuilding their world one memory at a time. If you can do this for anyone at anytime of your life you not only enriched their life but yours as well.

I used to be Abigail the wall flower who hid behind the blog, hid behind a wall, I hide no longer.

Blessings to all,
Tera Vermillion

Friday, April 23, 2010

Sit Down with your Coffee, My Loved Ones

Good morning all,

I have decided that since you are my "inner circle" I wish to share some thoughts with you. Most often I would put these on my blog or a journal but I feel the need to share my thoughts today in such a way that I know you are reading them. There is that possibility this may sit in your inbox a few days or maybe you won't read it at all. That's ok. I may actually go ahead and put this on my blog.

I am a creator/writer/thinker at heart. I do often wear my heart on my sleeve at least to those closest around me. I have love and love enough to share. Friendship requires a certain amount of love and acceptance. Love doesn't have to mean the romantic kind of love although, this is on my mind quite a bit. I also believe we influence the world around us which is why I choose to be a positive force.

If you happen to be so lucky as to find love that encompasses all that you have dreamed of but thought you would never find-you must do all you can to hold onto it. That's a tricky thing. How do we hold onto something that is "intangible"? You can not hold actual love in your hands. However, if you find someone you love that has a hand to all means grab it and hold on.

Sometimes your heart is open to someone and you didn't even know it until they were fully inside and sat down with a cup of coffee. There is an ease and naturalness to this that you can not ignore. When you find this and it is a romantic type love don't forget to feed it daily. You must never let the one you love forget that you love them. Don't assume they are mind readers but instead fully speak your mind with delicate words knowing full well that they accept you and love you as well.

There is a second side to that we should discuss. Sometimes we can nurture that love and memory ourselves while absent from the one we love. We need to have faith and remember why and how we got to where we are. We need to be patient with love for being in love with a person is indeed a cherished state that requires patience and nurturing. It is truly a give and take. So, give and take equally and unselfishly.

Love must be handled with balance in mind. Delicately but firmly. We can not hold onto something that another has no intention of letting us hold on to. What we do hold onto in those cases are the memories, the lessons and the love we felt during the union. Always keep love in your heart for in doing so you will be open to life's possibilities.

Balance in life doesn't have to be so difficult but for some it can be and as "the others" in their lives we need to be aware that we are not a perfect people and accept these imbalances unless they adversely affect us. We should and the people we love should reach a balancing point with all things. It takes only minutes to let the one we know we are thinking of them but years to fix the damage of not ever letting it be known and often we never get those chances back.

This balance in life means we don't lose sight of who we are instead, we nurture ourselves and the ones around us by being fully capable of being who we are, developing who we are and growing together. Never lose yourself to another to the point that you forget who you are or forget to be who you are. Remember that the people who are in your life are in it because they love and appreciate who you are.

If you are unfortunate enough to have people in your life you can't say this about then we need to speak of toxicity. People and situations can be toxic to different degrees. The Lord gives us only what we can handle. When you have too much, it is up to you to decipher what to weed out. Toxicity can poison our hearts, minds and souls. It eats away at the very being of who we are and the quicker you rid yourself of these negative things or persons the better off you will be.

I tend to try and spread my sunshine and positive thoughts to anyone who will listen. I have no trouble getting into a good debate on the pros and cons of positive thinking, our influences on the world around us, choices, karma and relationships. I may not have ended up where I want to be but I am still happy with my life and have no regrets. Life is what it is. Life goes on. My life is blessed. Just the simple act of saying those words and letting them sink in can do wonders. Read them again and again and if you have any negative thoughts in your own head today, let these words replace them: My life is blessed.

This was long...I thank you for reading it. I used to be Abigail the wall flower who hid behind the blog, hid behind a wall, I hide no longer.

Blessings to all,
Tera Lorraine

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Life is Sweet

And unfortunately, too short.

I had posted recently on my writings and my intentions of posting them here and I will continue to post personal things, musings if you will from time to time. I have not yet fully decided to post all of my writings here or simply create another blog attached to this account to put them on. After all, this particular form of writing does warrant in itself a special atmosphere. To have kept them on the original blog seemed wrong some how for many reasons.

To jumble it all together with events, jewelry biz and other thoughts may not do it justice either. I would hate for it to get lost amongst the shuffle. Then again, it may end up being like my other "green one" and not get much notice at all. So, what to do...what to do... Still thinking on that one. I will not hide it away under a fictitious name for in doing so I do not do myself or the things or people I write about justice.

Anonymity can be a good thing. I do not look for recognition. On the other hand, I don't want my works stolen or gone unnoticed. I would at the very least like to know I have touched someones life with my positive thoughts. I know already I have touched a few and that is good enough for me. Really, to touch just one soul is enough.

I am in love. It has slapped me up against my face at the most unexpected time and I am forever grateful and reveling in its glory. These may seem like big words to some. If you were in my shoes, you would think they were not big enough. I had written nearly one hundred poems reflecting on this love and all that it brings to mind. Even when I write about the dragonflies or the meadows, it is with love in mind.

I had a chance to talk endlessly recently with a family member whose views are quite different from mine. He kept apologizing for things amongst the conversation and I kept telling him there was no need. I like a good conversation. It wasn't what I would call heated but it came close. It was a debate of sorts on views ranging from positive thinking, love, relationships, karma, our past, influences and life's choices in general. I don't mind being told when I am wrong or someone even pointing out that maybe I am not taking the correct course at the moment. However, in the end it is I that has to live with these decisions and not anyone else. Well, not entirely true. My decisions do at times affect others. There is no way to live a completely solitude life so no matter what we do, the choices we make do affect others.

I give with my whole heart and love this way. I believe if I treat myself and others with respect and forge ahead with love in mind all the while still keeping my eyes open, I can not go wrong. HAHAHA you say...I know, I know. There is always that chance of failure. What we have to keep in mind are these things:

Do not let the fear of failure stop you from trying.
Do not let fear stop you from doing anything.
The only thing you should fear is fear itself for fear can stop us dead in our tracks.

On the positive side of that:

Love conquers all.
Love heals all wounds.
Love is the ultimate unselfish act.
Love is meant to be shared.
With love in mind you can not go wrong.

Let me explain that last one....even if at the end of a particular portion of your life you are not where you want to be or with the person you wish you were with...if you have loved and tried then, you can be proud of that effort. It is not a bad thing to have loved and lost. What is sad is to have never loved at all.

I am exceptionally grateful for my closest friends and family that I know I can always trust and count on. I am grateful that I have weathered the storms of my life. I am happy with the person I am today.

Blessings to all,
Tera Vermillion aka Abigail the Wallflower

Monday, April 12, 2010

Loves Wish

To love foolishly
With all might
and perseverance
without fear and
most of all without strife

To be blessed with
joy all of your days
This I wish for you.

Written 2001

"You can not love unless you let go."

Letting Go

You can not love
unless you let go

Let go of fear
Let your heart
be open
to the possibilities

Let go of pride
You need not hold onto this
for in love
the one who loves you
Has great pride
enough for you

Let go of the past
and any resentment it holds
Look to the days ahead
and know
the one who loves you
is waiting there

Let go of questions
for questions
only harbor doubt

In love, there should be none

If a question needs asking
then put it out
to the one you love

Love can not lie

Let go of pretenses
for love needs none of this

Love welcomes simplicity
and thrives in it

Within the simplicities of life
love grows complex

Let go of your heart
for in letting go
you receive another

In letting go
Love will come round

Friday, February 12, 2010

Intermixing Business and Personal Lives

Good morning all,

I have been:

Running two blogs
Creating random pieces of jewelry
Preparing for an out of state move
Getting my daughter ready to graduate and start college
Listing items on Etsy and my own website
Keeping up with Facebook for personal connections and a business page
I twitter
Post when I can on American Craft Guide and others. I am involved in two Etsy groups as well.

Life is taking a shift and so have I. I write poetry, short stories and prose. I am published on Associated Content, have published once in a book and published on my own on my other blog. This other blog and this other "side" of me has stayed fairly hidden for it is always hard to put raw feelings out there.

I can take a word or thought and build it into a beautiful work of art. Just like taking one bead and making something someone will treasure for years. I am done hiding. I will post these writings here for all to see from time to time. Not all of them, but most. I do believe that no matter where my life goes I have a gift to share that I don't need a ghost writing name for.

This is what I started, a blog under my fictitious childhood name. Until recently, it held all my deepest feelings. A few in draft that I did not want to share even. I have always written. Jewelry creating for me filled a void that I could not fill with words. Sometimes words are too hard to get out or a person may not want them out for all to see. For years, I had writers block that was brought on by life's circumstances. That block has been blown to smithereens. When you create art, in jewelry form or any other, you are communicating your inner feelings to the world.

We strive for perfection of sorts and look for acceptance. It brings joy to know another appreciates what we have created. Artists are strong but at the same time vulnerable. This makes for a interesting combination that some people do not understand and even others may take advantage of. There are beautiful souls everywhere but when you are in the midst of an artists soul, you are blessed tenfold.

My best friend is a beautiful soul and you may read about her one day. She writes wonderfully. I tend to write about the earth around us and emotions. She can write wonderful stories that pull you in. When I have her permission, I will post her name here so when her writings are published you can be the first to know!

So, my ghost writing name...Abigail...Abigail the wall flower. Because in school, that is what I was. A wall flower, someone that never came out of the corner, someone that hid up against the wall at the school dances and someone who believed no one ever understood her. Except her best friend of course. Now, at this point in life it doesn't matter if anyone understands. If I write something you don't understand feel free to interpret it any way you want or you may directly ask me to let you in on the inner meanings.

I will no longer hide for in hiding no one gets to know the real me. I am forty one years old, been married a few times and I have love in my heart to share.


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Sign of Life

Good morning all,

I have been thinking recently on communication and how our computers link us together. Between email, social marketing sites, networks and nings we are never really out of touch. This brings me to the population of people that either chose to not have or use computers or who may not use them as much.

What if you are thousands of miles away from someone you care about? You email them, right? You may even call. If you have a cell phone you might even text them. How do you handle it if you don't hear back from them? It might be a day, it might be two days. How are you? Do you fret?

I admit I have. With some people I just know I will hear from them eventually and I don't worry. You know the saying "Don't sweat the small stuff"? My brother and I have an agreement that around the six week mark, its time to get in touch. So, why fret if you don't hear from someone for a day or two? Good question.

So, not sweating the small stuff. Right now, I feel like there is no small stuff. The seed pods that fall of the vines are amusement for my son and I. Thunderstorms are welcomed in and the doors stay open all night. The dog wants to play tug o' war for the fifth see, there is no small stuff really because without these things our lives would not be complete.

It's the little details, the little sweet things that make our life complete. So, back to signs of life. Don't let time go by without letting the ones you care about know this. Any sign of life is good.

Hugs and Take care!